It's Only 4 Cat Kisses Until Christmas!

[brigid]

12-21-2022

Have you ever heard the expression "it's only X sleeps until Christmas!" or Disneyworld or Broadway's The Lion King or your birthday or the new season of The Mandalorian? I've always found it overly cutesy, kind of cloying. But it really works for some people, for some families, for some kids.

Does it work for Lolly and Polly?

We'll probably never know!

It's December 21st and we're seeing yet another comic strip referencing mistletoe, this time lead by a talking cat who apparently was writing smutty fanfic? Or something? Whatever it was, it was "lurid." It... was lurid. You'll notice the ellipsis I used there to indicate a pause; which pause was used to indicate the portent of the phrase "was lurid."It... was an appropriate use of an ellipsis.

It also wasn't me using an ellipsis when I should have used brackets to indicate a word or words is being omitted for editorial reasons, which is probably what the talking cat who was typing something on a laptop actually should have used. Generally speaking when you write something "lurid" you don't use an ellipsis to indicate certain words are omitted. You use brackets. For example, "you're a shitty person with breath like a shit-rimed ass hole" isn't reworked as "you're a ... person with breath like a ...". It's reworked as "you're a [redacted] person with breath like a [redacted]." Or, if you want to get Edwardian, you might style it as "you're a -- person with breath like a -- -- -- --, by g-d!"

Or, if you're a cat, you just call someone "sphincter breath." Which isn't "lurid" so much as "gross." And is also the over-wrought type of phrasing used by someone trying to sound grown-up and educated. This is what a high school student in the 80s would have used as an insult.

Yes, I'm still hung up on the ellipsis thing from yesterday.

Anyway, this comic strip has spent 3 days setting up the gag that a talking cat who can also use a typewriter thinks that Amos has breath that smells like feces, and advises him not to kiss anyone else because his breath smells like feces.

What, exactly, was Amos drinking when he wandered back into the room to discover a talking cat was using his laptop to write words?

Anyway, next time you see Amos and Edda fucking in public just remember that his breath smells like feces, and Edda's probably does as well just from spending so much time with her tongue lodged in his mouth.

This is WAY BETTER than watching their offspring make their first snowman, or eat too many cookies, or plan for how to maximize gift receiving from Santa, or meet their Nazi great-grandfather, or interact with other children at a concert put on by their school.

Having dropped a single strip implying that Edda is either pregnant or wants to become pregnant in mid-November, McEldowney has been focused almost entirely on flashbacks to her and Amos discussing conceiving a child, her discussing conceiving a child with other people, and people (including tertiary cast members) making out under mistletoe. Despite Amos' shocked/appalled/terrified expression at the "would you like to have a baby brother" tidbit he and Edda have not discussed this - or if they have, we haven't seen them do so. Because, again, why focus on THAT when we could focus on unending flashbacks to small children discussing the mechanics of sperm meeting egg, or Amos with feed smeared on his face at a concert, or people kissing (or bathing) under mistletoe?