brigid: (9CL)
[personal profile] brigid
It's easy to forget because until a few years ago, and his marriage to a homophobic asshole, Seth was the Gay Gay Gay character with the Barbie-loving boyfriend - but Seth mentioned several times that he was "13% straight" although he also referred to dating girls as faking it or forcing it. Pretending. Because bisexuality doesn't exist in this world a man who primarily is attracted to other men but sometimes is attracted to women is, thus, gay. Not "I am primarily attracted to men but sometimes to women, but I prefer to call myself gay." No, he just is gay. That's what he is. He's a giant hulking gay guy dating, but never kissing or humping in public, a tiny effeminate Liza Minnelli loving gay guy. Ha ha, just kidding. They aren't Liza Minnelli fans. They only like black and white heterosexual romance movies from the 1930s.

Edda, who has been lusting after Seth since they first met and who has tried to seduce him many times, tries once more after the "13%" reveal. She regularly sexually assaulted him. After a lot of talk about protecting her, Seth closes the door on a sexual relationship in a very literal way.

OR DOES HE??????? Someone enters her room and joins her in bed, although it's revealed to be Amos. This raises a few possibilities:

  1. Edda had a fantasy about having sex with Seth, later she had sex with Amos.

  2. Edda fantasized about Seth while having sex with Amos.

  3. Amos is surprisingly muscular. (This might explain why he can so easily support her weight/carry her around while she's humping him.)

  4. Edda had sex with Seth, then later had sex with Amos.


Edda apparently told Amos something of what happened, which he confirmed with Seth. They told different versions of what happened. While they both deny sexual activity neither of their accounts are TRUE. Later there's a weird exchange where Edda states that Amos "is better than" Seth and taunts Seth that he will never get to experience whatever it is with Amos. Either she's talking about kissing or else she's talking about sex and stating that Seth is bad at sex. Telling someone that they suck at sex AND ALSO taunting them about not being able to have sex with a guy they have a crush on is really mean. When you're the person who seduced the guy who is allegedly bad at sex, and who is protecting your little secret and thus preserving your relationship with your fiance, it edges into cruel territory.

Immediately after this she bolts for Amos and begs him to elope, at which point they're met by her mom and Seth (who is holding her wedding gown) and are forced into a church wedding. She interrupts the ceremony to drag Amos off for a heart-to-heart about her relationship with Seth. There's a solid joke ("he cooked for you, too?") followed by a decent second joke and then something that's not a confession. She and Seth made out, but did they have sex? She acts like they didn't. Either way, she and Amos reconcile and have sex on top of a grave. They conduct the rest of the ceremony with her dress completely grass stained so that everyone in the congregation knows that they ran off mid-ceremony, had sex in the grass, and came back. We all needed to witness this, I guess.

Edda goes on to flirt with Seth and makes out with him heavily at least once while he's dithering about dating/marrying Fernanda Jons. It's... it's A Whole Thing. Amos doesn't seem to mind.

If this were a webcomic they'd be in a polycule by now.
brigid: (9CL)
[personal profile] brigid

9 Chickweed Lane for 12-01-2022

Sometimes McEldowney will abandon a story line mid-week but it appears this is going to keep going because who DOESN'T like watching minors talk about their future fucking and baby-having plans?

Part of what's so disturbing is the way everyone's phrasing this. It's not "if we have kids" it's "if we conceive a child." The focus isn't on the actual child, it's on the act of creating the child by which I mean sperm and egg uniting. Notice that there's also no mention of what they'll DO with the hypothetical baby/kid. They aren't looking forward to having a kid, they're focused solely on sperm meeting egg and creating a pregnancy.

Instead of asking "After marriage, right?" or "But you're getting married first, right?" or something similar Juliette busts out with "Having sworn the bonds of holy matrimony?"

The big reveal is that she has a hand around the back of Amos' neck. She isn't actually strangling him, she only has one hand and it's not against his throat.

But let's talk about these bonds of holy matrimony! Amos and Edda got married in early August of 2017 and that particular story line is abruptly interrupted by a few weeks of rerun strips about how sexy Edda is, including a bunch of pin-ups. This may have been around the time he was hospitalized with a stroke.

Amos and Edda got married in a church after being told that they weren't allowed to elope.

The start the ceremony, and begin making out before they begin reciting vows.

When they do start with the vows Edda abruptly runs off, into the cemetery. She and Amos have a talk about how sexy she finds Amos and it turns out she finds him very sexy. How sexy?



So sexy they fuck in the grass leaving her with grass stains all over her butt and back, a glaring message to every single person in the church that they ran out of said church to fuck.



Did they have hot makeouts involving Edda scaling Amos' body right there in the church, on the predella in front of the altar?



Haha, of course they did! They just went to hump town right then and there. They did it for so long that EVERYBODY LEFT.



They either lingered in the church, which has a window with curtains, or else went to a private room? Anyway, there's usually a gap between ceremony and reception so why are they worried about people wandering off? Are they that desperate for another quick fuck before going out to greet everyone?

Anyway, Edda's got his dick out before he can figure out what they should do with this brief moment of solitude.



Their official wedding photos are post-coital. Also, did you want to know that Amos spunked inside Edda in front of the church altar on their wedding day? Because now you know that.



And it's possible they snuck off to a private room or a hotel room instead of just fucking on the church floor but wherever they were there was a dog because why not.

What I'm trying to say is that their official religious church wedding, thrown together at the absolute last second because her mommy and her room mate wanted to dress her up like a doll and live vicariously through her, was a two-person orgy.

I guess that's the bonds of holy matrimony, the religious sacrament, that Juliette is referring to.

You know.

When you fuck outside the church then inside the church then purchase photos documenting how fucked up and greasy you got while fucking.

As one does.

If I were a real glutton for punishment I'd go spelunking for the strips chronicling the ceremony for Juliette's second marriage, to Elliot. They may or may not be legally married, their ceremony may have been a bizarre farce, but they live together. And they have sex.

Profile

9chickweedlane: (Default)
9 Chickweed Lane

November 2024

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10 11 1213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 21st, 2025 11:32 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios