"I've always worried what it will be like if I don't become pregnant."

[brigid]

9 Chickweed Lane for 11-30-2022

The problem, once again, is this dialog doesn't sound anything at all like the way people actually talk.

"As it happens, I'm pregnant." "Am I permitted to say whee?" It's not clever or funny or well paced. It's great that he's not trying to imitate, say, Joss Whedon. Don't get me wrong. But his dialog used to flow better. I mean, he ALWAYS used too many five dollar words crammed into overly ornate sentences that wound up obfuscating his meaning about 15% of the time. I say that as someone who just used the word "obfuscating," by the way. Just to point that out. I, also, am an insufferable nerd.

Visually speaking, the strip starts off on a promising. There are two people. They are walking and they are talking to each other. We see both of their faces. They have different face shapes and different hair styles. The young teenager and the pregnant adult have the same body shape though. The writing gets off on the wrong foot, though, in a big way.

"I don't mean to question you so much." This is an oddly formal, and cold, way of putting things. "I don't mean to bother you." "I know these are personal details." "I know this is really intimate." "Sorry for all the questions!"

This touches on that old bit of writing advice to read what you wrote out loud to yourself. Is that how people actually say things? How does it sound to the ear?

"It's just that I've always worried what it will be like if I become pregnant." I automatically typed that as "it'll" because that's how most people talk. Not all! But most. "It's just that I worry about what it's like to be pregnant." "I'm just curious about what pregnancy is like." There's so many ways to say this that sound like conversation, especially conversation between a near-child and an adult.

"I've always worried what it will be like if I don't become pregnant." Now, I want to touch on something here, two things actually, but will save it for later. As it is, this sentence is awful. "I've always worried what it will be like." That just... he tried to set up parallel dialog, or mirrored dialog, and it doesn't make SENSE. "I've always worried what it'll be like" makes more sense.

The second panel we see them from behind for some reason. We can't see their faces. We can't see their expressions. This is a visual medium! They're walking more or less side by side... Edda is slightly in front and Diane has her arms clasped behind her back. They aren't touching, they aren't intimate.

"As it happens, I'm pregnant." Like... you could say "I've worried I won't be able to get pregnant... but here I am! Pregnant!" or "I never thought I'd be pregnant, but as it is, I am!"

Edda responds not with "congratulations!" or "how exciting!" or "Wow!" but with "How is it?" And I guess it makes sense in context because Edda's been asking what it's like to be pregnant but it still comes across as someone observing a specimen. It's detached.


"It's lovely." Ok, that's fine. Not exciting or scary or beautiful or weird or fun. Lovely. Sure.

"Am I permitted to say wheee?" Why would she not be permitted? Why would she say wheee and not congratulations? Why not say it's exciting? They put their arms kind of loosely around each other but it's not a hug. It's not real closeness. They're having this intimate conversation, or at least a conversation that SHOULD be intimate, but their body language is that of acquaintances who've reunited at a church function.

"I've always worried what it will be like if I don't become pregnant."

Diane took religious orders that included a vow of celibacy. Generally speaking, people who are celibate don't get pregnant. Miracles occur, both religious and scientific (surely there's people who are celibate who've volunteered sperm, egg, or uterus to help someone they love conceive and bear a child), and it's possible to have that choice forcibly removed as well and be impregnated against your will. But if you've always wanted a kid maybe don't take a vow of celibacy. That's a big BIG thing to consider.

The second thing I want to mention is that there absolutely ARE people who worry about not being able to get pregnant. There are people who are very upset at the idea of not being able to get pregnant. It's something that isn't depicted that often, especially in a complex way. I don't expect "complex" in this strip, but this is still something I'd like to see touched on in a respectful way.

McEldowney has touched on this twice with Edda. The first time was when she forgot pregnancy tests existed and assumed she was pregnant and was kind of crushed to realize she wasn't. The second time was when she and Amos were trying to conceive and it wasn't working immediately (even though she got a diagnosis of "superfertile"? because that's a thing?) What's frustrating is that the two story lines contradict each other. In the first one, which is longer and more detailed (both in writing/dialog and in actual art like backgrounds etc) Edda's doctor mentions that she may have a fibroid or fibroids which can affect fertility. She's also a ballet dancer and high end model who is extremely active and has a restrictive diet to keep her weight down. This is absolutely something that can and does affect fertility. A young couple who wants to have children but may not be able to is a potentially interesting story. "Whoops nope you're superfertile, as soon as I reveal this you'll become pregnant" is less so.

This "Edda has always wanted to be pregnant/wondered about being pregnant/worried about being pregnant" cluster of flashbacks is so poorly handled and muddled. It's extremely disorganized and unfocused. And it continues to feel like a guy edging toward something trying not to startle it or reveal too much. He's extremely focused on pregnancy and Edda being pregnant and that keeps leaking through whatever other story or fuckfest he's depicting. Like we get this incredibly jumbled nonsensical time travel anomaly thing that wound up mostly revolving around Edda's hot teenage daughters telling her that she's hot and then we're... doing flashbacks of child/teen Edda bullying Amos into promising to knock her up one day.

What I'm trying to say, once again, is that McEldowney either has a general pregnancy fetish or else it's specifically about Edda being pregnant. It has that furtive quality to it that his week long public toe-sucking story line completely lacked.

It almost feels like the foot fetish spotlight was to distract from the pregnancy stuff.